Keep The Change

I know what you’re thinking right now. She looked up, and her eyes reflected the smile she had on her face. You’re thinking that this is an affair—that ‘right now’, you’re cheating on your wife.

Her hand shot out and caressed his. Oh, don’t deny it, Greg, I know you’re married. I’ve known since we started—how should I say this—, a pause, the wicked smile, ‘going out’. No, don’t get up, Greg, I’m not done yet.”

She laughed at his response. A waitress passed, cast them a curious look, was waved away.

No, no, not a joke, Greg. I’m a bored grad student. You wouldn’t believe how easy you are to control—oh, look, she clapped in delight, look how red your face is getting!

No, don’t leave yet, I’m not done—if you get up I’ll scream. Again, that smile. Oh, you see how helpless you are right now, don’t you? That’s right, sit back down. Let’s talk.

Oh I know you don’t want to talk about this right now, but you’re going to have to. Oh, I’ll let you go soon enough, but first…

Thank you very much. Yes, I ‘am’ a freak. Makes me wonder why you were attracted, eh? I just want to ask you a question. Answer—

Answer me, alright? Just one question. She leaned in. Does your wife love you?

Oh, I knew you would say that—that’s alright, you don’t need to tell me. Just ask yourself that. Look in yourself and ask. That’s right. You can leave now—not the date you expected, eh?

She laughed again. I ‘told’ you I probably wasn’t the type of woman you wanted. Go home, Mr. Richart. Go home. Be glad I’m such a nice gal.

The waitress returned.

Yeah, you can clean up. Can you believe him, leaving ‘me’ to pay the bill? Men these days. Oh, a phone call, hold on.

Mrs. Richart! Yes, yes, he’s gone now. I don’t know if he’ll be home soon or not—he’s rather upset, you see.

Oh, don’t thank me at all, Mrs. Richart. I should be the one thanking ‘you’ for being so civil when you found—

--oh, no! I could never stand to be with a pig like him—no offense to you, Mrs. Richart.

Yes, he’s just a little misguided, I agree.

Yes, best of luck to you, too, Mrs. Richart. Have a nice night.

The waitress returned, receipt in hand.

Oh, she put the phone back into her purse, just keep the change.

And she skipped self-righteously out the door, humming softly under her breath.

(Written: 1/5/09, an experiment in one-sided conversation)