Life in the Woods

Genre: Journalism (Profile)
Date written: 02/24/2009
Word count: 1717

“’Stop! Thief! Coward!’ I chased him into the woods shouting that. I was about to tackle him, and he dropped the backpack.” Dr. Wagner’s eyes glisten with a boyish eagerness as he recounts to me his encounter with a machete wielding man in Guatemala this past summer. He suddenly gets up and walks across the room towards his coffee pot. I see on his desk a small basket of dried apples picked from his own farm. A battered gray briefcase leans against his desk. Interspersed with several travel books, various textbooks ranging from modern physics to environmental science line his bookshelves. The very bottom shelf contains a collection of National Geographic—some dating back to the 1980’s. On his computer, he has open a Wikipedia page about grapefruit.

With his scraggly beard and slightly unkempt hair, Wagner bears a slight resemblance to the great philosopher Henry David Thoreau. “I got a lot of ideas from him [Thoreau] when I was in junior high,” Wagner admits, “I read him again after I got out of college, and he’s right. Simplify your life, and things will be better for you. Buddha taught that suffering is caused by desires and to the extent you can reduce your desires, you can reduce your suffering. I’ve found it to be true.” Highly critical of the modern consumerist age, Wagner has lived up to his goal of living life simply. He resides in a modest home on a farm with a monthly $15 electric bill. Living without air conditioning, central heat, a computer, or a cell phone, Wagner opts to heat and cool his home with a simple wood stove and fan during the winter and summer months. Roy Flannagan, a friend and colleague of Wagner, notes that “his house is empty. It’s almost creepy.” Despite his minimalist approach to living, Wagner admits to having some creature comforts. “I do have lights, a radio, a TV, and a ghetto blaster so I can listen to music.”

Although more commonly known as the thrifty, economically-savvy chemistry teacher at the Governor’s School for Science and Mathematics (GSSM), Dr. Kurt Collins Wagner leads a second life of adventure aside from his teaching career. Student Anna Capps recalls a time when Dr. Wagner admitted to wearing his swim suit under his work clothes so that he could leave immediately after class to go surfing. Although still thoroughly entrenched in the world of academia, Dr. Wagner has managed to balance his active outdoorsman lifestyle by traveling the world during his months off work. “I always wanted to be a scientist, and I got to do that. I wanted to be sailor, and I’ve done that. I wanted to have adventures, and I’ve had an awful lot of them,” he replied when I asked about his childhood goals. “I’ve always enjoyed the outdoors,” Wagner continues, “When I got out of college, I dropped out. I didn’t want to have to do anything with modern society. I basically thought it was evil. I lived in a cabin in the woods and lived by hunting, fishing, and foraging. In my senior year in high school, I got a tent and lived in the woods. After I got my doctorate, I went wandering around in the Rocky Mountains for a while.”

Despite his modest way of life, Dr. Wagner is at the age of 56, a self-made millionaire. Gifted with an eye for financial opportunities, Wagner through the years has accumulated a respectable fortune through thrifty spending habits and a series of lucrative investments. In his chemistry class, students can look forward to his “Economic Minute,” a series of daily tips ranging from investment advice to legal tax evasion. He admits that making money is “kind of a habit at this point. I hope that some of this information will rub off on my students, who are presumably interested in money. Materially, I have everything I want already. At some point, the only reason to make money is to give it away prudently, and that’s what I want to do.” When I ask him why he continues teaching, he replies, “Well, I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing. I don’t really need the money anymore, but hey, it’s a pretty nice job.”

In 1994, Dr. Wagner had been in midst of what he likes to call his “wandering chemist phase” when he met Bob Trowell, a former chemistry teacher at GSSM who suggested that Wagner apply for a job at the school. “I was working at the University of Rochester and ended up in a dorm with Bob Trowell. We were both teachers and both into long distance bicycle riding. Six months later, I get a phone call saying, ‘Guess what? Joe quit. Want to apply for his job?’ So here I am.” Dr. Wagner continues on to tell me that the students are his favorite part of teaching at GSSM. “I like the fact that I can teach, and that I have to spend little time maintaining order.” However, he does admit that teaching does have its downsides. “Teaching is so schizophrenic in that you work all the time, twelve to fourteen hours a day, six days a week, and then have two months completely off. Sometimes I wish I had a more normal existence.” He rocks back and forth on his worn swivel chair as he waves his arm over a stack of paper. “And I really hate grading,” he adds, “I should hire someone to do it for me.”

After a full day at work, Wagner returns to his 67 acre farm in the small town of Bishopsville and participates in what he likes to call “aerobic work.” “I just mess around on the farm. Cut brush, or cut firewood. I grow all my vegetables and most of my fruit.” He gets up and pours more water into his coffee pot as he adds, “Oh, another thing I do for exercise is, I walk. I like to walk. I walk a lot. I walk the perimeter of my land because I know it well and can find my way in the dark. I walk during my vacations. I call these summer expeditions my ‘walkabouts.’ I’m open to whatever presents itself. Be it an opportunity to be robbed or whatever. I set forth with no particular plan and make it up as I go along. No schedule. If you have a schedule, it’s too much like work. You just go wander around and experience new stuff.”

From these “walkabouts” Wagner over the years has collected an impressive collection of personal stories. He tells me about his recent trip to Guatemala. “I met this woman from Texas in Guatemala. I was looking for somewhere to eat breakfast, and she was doing the same thing. We decided to walk over the next village to get away from the tourists. We’re walking on the road and some guy comes walking in the opposite direction carrying a machete. I didn’t think much of it, but he walked across the road to where we were at. Robin immediately takes off her backpack and gives it to him. The guy looks at me and says, ‘Give me your backpack.’ I took it off, looked him squarely in the eye and said, ‘No.’ So he starts swinging his machete around and I block it with my backpack. Then, I punched him in the nose. He swung the machete several times, and I just hit him again and again. Finally, he turned and ran. So, I chased him into the woods, and when I was about to tackle him, he drops the backpack. Robin comes running and says, ‘There’s two more [men] coming.’ So we ran.” He adjusts the collar of his wrinkled blue shirt and takes a sip of his coffee as he adds, “I went to the police later and identified the guy from a mug shot.” After a moment’s pause Wagner’s blue eyes turn cold as he says, “Thieves are cowards. They’re looking for a victim. I am not a victim. I do plan on hurting them. At least.”

As an afterthought he adds, “Well, I haven’t been killed or seriously injured yet. One wonders how long the good luck can hold.” He smiles mischievously as he begins shelling pecans he picked from his farm the week before. While telling me of a time when a horse had fallen out under him at a full gallop, he adds, “It was exciting. As long as you don’t get hurt, it’s fun. At this point, I’ve almost lost completely all interest in fiction. I just don’t care. It’s all made up crap. Reality is interesting enough.”

Pragmatic and very much grounded in the real world, Wagner’s students and colleagues alike testify to his strong opinions and beliefs. One can often find a student in his office debating about politics or the economy. “I’m for minimal government and maximum freedom,” he notes with a small laugh. His voice suddenly turns serious, however, as he adds, “Keep in mind that the flip side of freedom is responsibility. If you decide to smoke, don’t ask me to help you pay for a new set of lungs.” Wagner holds equally practical opinions regarding religion. Describing his retreat into the woods after college, he tells me, “At the time, religion had caused a great deal of confusion in my mind. I went to the woods and lived there for seven years without electricity. I explored and read all the religious texts, and certain things became clear to me.” As I start packing away my notebook and pens, he asks me, “What’s the difference between religion and mythology? Mythology is religion that’s died out, and religion is a myth that hasn’t died yet. But I shy away from the word ‘atheist.’”

On my way out, I see his travel books and ask him about all the countries he has visited. “This past summer, I was in Guatemala. I’ve also been to Mexico, Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador, Nicaragua, Belize, and Honduras.” I ask him about his plans for the coming summer. Without skipping a beat he replies, “I might just go wander around pointlessly. Or I saw an opportunity to go research medicinal use of plants in the Caribbean. I might do that.”